yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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