Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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