Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Randomize
