I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
