I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
