I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
