I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
