So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
