i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
