and i looked up. we had an audience...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
