I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
