And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
