i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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