i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
