I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
