doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
