i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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