I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
