I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
