There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
