if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
