There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Are we still banned from the library?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
