If i come over, it means nothing
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
