i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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