Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
