you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
