If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
