...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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