Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
