i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I think your dad took our porno
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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