Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
