Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
