You can't special order awesome
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
