I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize