Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
