Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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