Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
