it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Everyone says I win the strip club
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Terrible idea I love it
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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