I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
