She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
