All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
