My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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