I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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