Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
we should paint friendship bongs
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