How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Shitshow foam night was such a success
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Randomize
