Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
