You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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