he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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