im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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