They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
