somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
ttyl tear gas
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
